Nothing in life works like gratitude to uplift us spiritually, to set and keep us on the road to recovery. Nothing is more powerful against negative emotions, or works faster to relieve depression, mend relationships, raise our energy levels, extend our life span, reduce stress or make us more productive.

And yet, when we’re stuck in our pride, our resentments or self-pity, nothing is harder to summon than an attitude of gratitude.

That’s one of the first challenges students here face: stepping away from the anger and frustration they feel at being here long enough to see something – anything – positive in the situation. Even if it’s just looking at a fellow student and thinking I’m glad I don’t have his problems…  I’m lucky not to be in her shoes.

It’s easy to be grateful when things go our way, of course; when life is all blue skies and green lights. Not so easy when things sour and misfortune strikes. And yet, even in moments of intense pain and frustration, the tremendous benefits of gratitude are there for the taking. We just need to drop our hurt pride and self-pity long enough to consider our blessings: our health, our talents, our friendships, our material possessions, even our struggles and difficulties themselves and the opportunities they give us to learn and grow.

The attitude of gratitude is a choice, a willingness to let life’s difficulties recede while we embrace its gifts, big and small. Count your blessings not your troubles, said Dale Carnegie. There’s no surer way to happiness than that.

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19 months ago, I climbed the stairs of the Family Foundation School, scantily clad in a short skirt and high heels. It was a Monday morning, but I didn’t plan on staying in school for long. I came in spitting venom, with my head down and my claws out.

Now I’ll be walking down those same stairs. I’ll have my family and friends around me and I’ll be wearing the requisite deep blue cap and gown. It’s possible that I will stumble—I’ve learned many things over the course of my stay here, but how to walk in high heels was not one of them. The knowledge I gained less tangible, maybe a bit harder to quantify. Yet,  I’ve grown up.

As I type this, I’m sitting at a desk in the Main Office. The desk is placed on the floor I once laid on, refusing to move until the school switched me out of Spanish class. I remained until I got hungry. When I was sixteen, I was at once six years old, impetuous, selfish and entitled, and sixty-six, jaded, exhausted and (I thought) completely finished with what life had to give me. I learned to tame my destructive passions, and not fight battles that were beyond, not to fight the hand that fed me, and listen to those who knew more than I. I learned to nurture my constructive passions, rejoining Chorus for the first time since middle school, connecting with my peers in a very real way, and voraciously reading all the books that I finally had time for. I found me.

Soon, I’ll take it all with me, and I’ll be leaving, but I will not be gone. I’ll be leaving in Binghamton, at the off-campus Bridge Program. It’s possible that I will stumble, but I’ve learned so many things. I can’t wait to live another day, and that alone is my miracle.

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Commencement Address by Dr. Gerald Janauer, Academic Dean

It is again time for good-byes.  Another senior class is ready to make their journey home.

The path each of these students has taken was long and difficult.  Parents will clearly remember the fear, the anguish and the desperate search for help.  Today, these same young people have accomplished what most young men and women of their age would find difficult to understand.

All of our students that are sitting before you on this stage have earned an academic diploma.  The Family Foundation School program graduation, however, means much more than the diploma that these students are about to receive.  Program graduation from The Family Foundation School means that these young men and women have worked hard to embody the principles of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, and have practiced them not only in their daily lives at the school, but also when away with their families and on home visits.  These young men and women have shown a willingness to be honest in all of their affairs, and to be of service to others as they grew to trust God as they understood Him. This required firm faith on the part of students as well as parents.  The level of work that our students and their families have invested in this graduation is remarkable – ordinary high school students cannot lay claim to this achievement.

So graduating from FFS is not easy.  But Life will also bring temptation, life will bring trials, and there may be slips.  Our students have gained the tools to overcome such difficulties in their lives.  These tools are now there whenever they need to reach for them.  Our students have also gained a new extended family – The Family Foundation School teachers, staff, and their fellow alumni.  Many of our students continue to stay in touch with us and with their fellow graduates.  Even after leaving us they know where to turn for support.  Graduates, probably the most important advice I can give you today is to stick with the winners.  Your success and your sobriety depends on it.

As we do at all of our graduations, we have alumni that are here today to support our graduates. We look forward to seeing YOU support the next generation as well!  Your support will give courage to students who are struggling and help them to realize that the light at the end of the tunnel is not the train, after all!

And, as you leave here today, remember what Abraham Lincoln once said:

“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.”

So, continue the path of growth that you started here.  Growth and learning are a lifelong process, a lifelong journey.  This is the journey that you’ve really packed for!  Make it a good one.

Congratulations graduates!

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By Ali. G

Well, I’m not so sure our bus driver would agree, but for the Chorus students this saying definitely rang true. After months of hard preparation, long rehearsals and working out conflicts amongst our group, we finally made it to the show, the main event, the “whole enchilada” as choreographer Tom K. would say.

The eighteen students in The Family Foundation School Chorus had the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to sing on stage in the world premiere of “The Christmas Rose,” a production by Tim Janis. We shared the stage with movie star Jane Seymour. “It was so cool to be on stage with her” said senior Tom M. “I got to tell her how much my Grandma loves her!”

Paul Geer, the musical director for The Family Foundation School, actually directed the mass choir of about 100 students, hailing from The Family Foundation School, as well as Hancock Central School, and students from Union-Endicott. Altogether, our sound was huge! All the action on stage made it hard to focus during the first rehearsal, and I watched all the amazing dancers, hysterical actors and listened to the talented orchestra.

During the show though, it was all business. When I’m performing, I go into a trance, able to think about nothing but the job at hand and serving the audience. All of us in Chorus are well-trained by Paul, who tells us to keep our “heart on fire” and our “brain on ice”

Afterwards, many of family members met us out by the bus and congratulated us. “My mom was so proud of me, she started crying! She never thought that I would do anything like this!” said student Kyra L. “I’m so grateful for this experience.”

Half asleep on the long bus ride home, snacking on donuts and trail mix, I had the same thought. What could be better than accomplishing something so prestigious with all of your best friends around you, for the good of God and the community?

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By Ali G.

People with strong personalities and addictive behaviors have long been among the worlds’ greatest creative minds, from Beethoven to the Rolling Stones. We students at the Family Foundation School had to opportunity to showcase our own talents in a special Songwriting Worship last weekend with musician and songwriting Kathy Moser who creates “Music for a Better World.”

On Friday night, Kathy and her band performing an amazing and energy-filled concert for the student body. Her songs had spiritual and recovery-based messages and she had everybody in audience engaged, and some willing participants even came on stage to sing and dance along. The creative process continued however, with individualized intensive song-writing workshops, for musically inclined participants who worked in small groups to create their own masterpieces.

Girls and boys each also worked in a large group, creating our own unique songs. Our songs were based on important struggles and victories that we’ve experience in recovery, ideas and feelings on which we could all relate, regardless of our age or background.

On Sunday, there was another concert, which featured live and recording music from the students. We all enjoyed a metal song from the boys’ guitar intensive, a girl-power rock song from the girls’ large group, and an amazing fiddle and banjo duet between student Veronica D. and band member Andy Gessling. “It was nerve-wracking to get up there in front of everybody, but it was really amazing and I ended up having a great time!” The musical weekend left us with catchy tunes stuck in our heads, and fun new perspective on what we can accomplish in sobriety.

Read More…

The Show Goes On

The Magic of Music

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By Ali G.

Hurricane Sandy ripped through the East Coast without mercy, leaving thousands without power for days, and many unfortunate people without homes. Particularly devastated were areas of South Jersey and parts of New York City. Last weekends, eighteen year old male students from the Family School were given the amazing opportunity to volunteer their time and service to help restore the areas of Rockaway, Queens and Long Beach in Long Island hit hard by this cruel storm. Staff members Jan Cheripko, Carlton Williams, Eric Anderson and Tommy Cummings took these eager students to these compromised areas and graciously gave their time and hard manual work in an attempt to truly make a difference. The staff and students worked side by side, combatting the debris and after-effects of the disaster. This long, selfless day began at 5:30 in the morning and didn’t end until 10:30 at night.

Senior student and Dog Corps intern Lucas V-P talked about the work he had done with a sense of pride: “We were able to help people who were hurt by the storm. We broke down tile floors and wooden walls, and helped demolish waterlogged and water-damaged floors. It was exhausting, but totally gratifying.”

Senior student and kitchen intern Conor S. was amazed at the devastation, but was glad that he was able to do his part. “It was terrible to see as we wound our way through the cluttered streets in the van, watching as people cleaned out their wrecked homes.”

Student Will M. had a very unique experience volunteering his time, since he was within ten minutes of the neighborhood where he grew up. “I couldn’t believe the destruction,” Will said, “but it felt great to do my part. Part of me didn’t want to leave; I felt there was more I could do”

The boys also had the chance to help out treasured Talbot House alumni Bennett O. and his father, Frank, who were grateful for the help and support in cleaning out their house. Those who were not able to go on the trip sent their prayers with the boys, and the community as a whole reached out, contributing all sorts of donations including blankets, fire logs, coats, jackets, socks and Home Depot gift cards to a larger relief effort in Honesdale. The items gathered at the school will be heading to down to New Jersey in a trailer and distributed among those who are still in need.

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By Ali G.

There are staff members with desks and offices who toil tirelessly to keep things organized at the Family School. Then there are the staff who are on the “floor,” running around and making sure the structure of the school is executed. One of these staff members is Eric Anderson, who can be found driving students to temple, presiding over a dish crew, fixing what’s broken, weed whacking, or simply keeping order while having dinner with students in the families.

Eric certainly isn’t new to the Family School, and all the students are used to the sight of him coming down from his house on his way to work early in the morning as we’re going up to the chapel.

“My father is the head of the maintenance department and I’ve always worked around here since I was little” says Eric, “Over the course of my time working here, I’ve definitely learned a lot of patience.”

There are some staff members who are a part of the family and choose to work here for a lifetime, but Eric’s journey is just beginning. “I’m joining the Marine Corps in March” says Eric, “and all of the integrity and patience I have learned here will help me a lot.”

When I talked to Eric about his favorite part of the job, at first he laughed and said that it was the on-campus weight room, but then with a more serious tone he told me “It’s getting to spend time with the people here. I’ll definitely miss all the kids.”

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By Ali G.

Halloween is usually a creepy and scary occasion…but most of us have enough to be wary of, between school, work, family issues and internal turmoil. That’s why we celebrated this “Hallo-weekend” by having some good clean fun instead. Paul Geer and his “Special Ops” crew set up the gym with an elaborate waterfall and faux-trees. They worked hard converting our gym into Middle Earth, a perfect setting for our Lord of the Rings-themed weekend.

We kicked it off with a dinner of baked ziti in the decked-out gym. Later Friday night, we watched a thriller called Three. “It was interesting, but confusing,” said student Mario N. “but I was just glad to have some popcorn!”  Saturday was the main event. In the morning, we had time to carve pumpkins and put the finishing touches on our costumes. We had breakfast and lunch in the gym, enjoying the family-style dining in a festive environment. But come nightfall, the party really started! Student Becca B. gushed about the incredible night we blessed to have. “This Halloween was really fun! I did things I wouldn’t usually do at home, or would even think about doing if I was still using. I dressed up as a cat with two of my friends, carved pumpkins, tried to bite an apple hung from the ceiling, and danced with the girls!” Our new chef Pablo made us amazing cupcakes and homemade apple cider, and the master of ceremonies, Paul Geer, provided us with an awesome homemade cake.

“It was a night I’ll definitely remember,” said student Kyra L., “and I never knew how good I was at musical chairs!” The winners of the costume contest each won a ten-dollar gift certificate to McDonald’s, to be redeemed on a visit. “I’ve never won anything like this before!” said Vera M., the winner of the Most Outstanding Costume prize, for her adorable unicorn outfit, which was coupled with Sally H.’s glittery fairy costume. The celebration has ended, but there’s still glitter all over the school, reminding us of our special night. A special thanks to Paul and his crew for making it happen!

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