By L. V.
In any type of social dynamic the underlying, sometimes even unconscious aspect of relationships, is control. We all want to control people in the way it best benefits us. As humans, we are selfish creatures. That is the root of our disease as the AA Big Book so simply points out. But have you ever questioned the control you have or lack in relationships with family, friends, loved ones, celebrities or even strangers? To control the ones we love as well as strangers is completely selfish and can lead to insanity.
Since leaving The Family Foundation School, I decided to continue to write for the blogs at FFS. It was part of my internship for my last 6 months and I enjoy writing on meaningful concepts. I have a brother whom I am very close with, before as well as after my stay at The Family School. Since being home, we do not see eye to eye. We have different interests, ideals, morals, principles, friends and beliefs. Prior to FFS, all of these characteristics were similar if not identical. We have argued, disagreed and bickered over many insignificant, trivial and pointless topics from material objects and money to principles and other attributes of our character. For a week or two, this was bothering me. I was letting the fact that our relationship was not going the way “I” wanted it to go.
Then it hit me while having a conversation with a staff member at FFS about the situation with my brother. I asked myself, “why am I trying to control what my brother thinks, acts and believes?” If he doesn’t want to have the brotherly relationship I hope for, then that is completely out of my control. After realizing this, I started thinking of the 1st Step and how we as humans want so much power over others that we can sometimes try to control numerous aspects of the lives. Letting go and letting God has helped me realize that I am not in control, and everything will happen just as my Higher Power wants it to.
For a few weeks now I have not worried about the relationship with my brother. If a disagreement or argument starts I just walk away from it or decide not engage in a conversation that might anger me. One thing I can say is that it leads to a much more peaceful day. A true gift The Family Foundation School has taught me is to take any situation and try to interpret God’s Will at that moment is for me. Trying to see what God wants me to learn out of a difficult situation is of great importance to continue spiritual and internal growth.
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