By Luke V.
On January 23rd, The Family Foundation School was in for a surprise. Alex D. was the first student to be welcomed into “The Family”, by Tony and Betty Argiros. Alex and his daughter Maria, who is a program graduate from The Family School, drove from Illinois all the way to Hancock for the weekend. While here, Alex and Maria visited with The Argiros Family and also shared their experience strength and hope with the students here at FFS.
At the age of 15, Alex got high for the first time and described it as the “magic elixir”. After this experience he wanted more and more. Anything Alex liked he got addicted to. Alex was introduced to the 12 steps at the age of 15 when his mother placed him in a drug and alcohol program. When Alex was 17 years old, he was again drinking and drugging and he ended up in the hospital as a result of an overdose and he flat lined. After this experience Alex was full of anxiety and fear and he tried to find a different way. He did not find any excitement out of negativity, whether it be drugs or anything else, because he experienced it all. He went for the third time back into a program, New Directions in Walton, NY, where he began sincerely seeking a better way of living. There, at an in-program AA meeting, he met Tony and Betty Argiros who graciously accepted him into their family.
Alex’s sobriety date is December 1, 1978. He is grateful for his first year of sobriety being at “The Family”. In early sobriety one struggle Alex had was working on the relationship with his Creator. Sobriety has taught Alex many important ideals and principles that he still carries today. Today for Alex, it is important for him to be honest with himself, just like the AA slogan, “To Thine Own Self Be True”. Alex is grateful for his time at “The Family” and the opportunity to start making different choices. Other influences on Alex early in his sobriety were Matt and Margaret, who ran New Directions. Alex and “The Family” went to meetings there and in the area 3 times a week.
Sobriety has given Alex tremendous gratitude. For Alex, the 12 steps is a way to be happy. Before Alex became sober, he had this perception in life that most adolescents have. Drugs, partying and a place to escape; Alex’s “magic elixir”. Having 30 plus years in sobriety, Alex has a different perception on life than back when he was 17. A battle for Alex is his Creator versus his Ego. In AA terms it’s a battle of self will or wanting immediate gratification. Memories that feed into his ego are sometimes call euphoric recalls of events from his past. A euphoric recall is remembering the past, not as it was, but an as if through rose colored glasses. A euphoric recall is a lie of the “disease”, Alex said. And for the addict the disease wants us miserable, unhappy and dead.
Alex advised everyone to ask God to help them to see the truth to avoid these euphoric recalls. Alex said that not using would not bring happiness. You need to be willing to change and do things differently from when you were in your old behavior so you’ll open up to real and richer things. Otherwise why stop using. Doing things the way you were obviously didn’t make you completely happy or you wouldn’t want to use in the first place, he said. Listening to the truth from his Higher Power as it was expressed to him through the people he trusted and through his meditation time, gives him the strength to overcome this aspect of his “disease”.
Alex’s overall message was true, genuine happiness. The 12 steps is how Alex finds happiness. To be happy, you have to have an inner-source, help others and everything else is just an addition. For Alex, it comes down to the choices you make between your ears. Nothing is evil or good, it’s the meaning we give to them, the relationship we have with them.
Maria came to The Family School on October 23, 1999. Her father Alex picked her up from a Police Station in Chicago and took her for a drive to The Family Foundation School. Maria just turned 14, and had a plethora of reasons for coming to FFS; drinking, drugs, being a “brat” and going to jail. Maria has found success from being a student at The Family Foundation School. She has been married for 4 years, has a job with the Coast Guard and is happy and successful. While here Maria learned how to have relationships with people, be a true friend and be a person of integrity. Being back at FFS, Maria used this time to catch up with staff members from Family One. She also said that she and Alex probably took the same route from Illinois to Hancock they did 10 years ago, except now their family is fixed and they are happy and enjoy life. “I’m in Good Shape for the Shape I’m in” Alex affirmed gratefully.
