How Much We Laugh

I used to see sobriety as the enemy. To me it was a boring way of life. But my stay at this school has taught me a better way to live and has definitely changed my opinion on being sober. I always wanted to have fun, whether it was getting drunk or getting high, and associated a mind altering experience with having a good time. But things have changed for the better. Never in my life did I think that eating 10 pounds of kung pow chicken and dancing to gospel music with Panava and the other family one girls would be a memorable experience. Or maybe it was the time I spent sliding down the railing with Emilie that made me feel like a child again. I was enjoying my time with someone that wanted to be with me and appreciated the sober person I have become.

When I look at my friends here and compare them to the friends I had at home I see something different. The relationships I have developed here are based around true love and commitment. The people I have met here have helped me in ways that the drugs my friends offered to me never could. It’s the hard work I have experienced at the school that has opened my eyes to the good in people and in life. When I am having moments here that truly make me smile it gives me a rush of gratitude for my devotion to the AA program. The funny times I had here are different than the funny times I had at home because I actually remember them. Like the time I was at the AA convention in New Jersey with the other senior girls. We had been dancing like crazy at the banquet for an hour and in the middle of doing some tricky move I managed to rip my pants all the way up the middle. I scurried up to the hotel room and eventually turned them into shorts for later use.
The person I used to be was destructive. My addictions and habits controlled my everyday choices and since that has changed, so has everything else. I now can truly say that I have real friends and a real family. Since being sober I have learned more than I ever would at home. I now know how to cook a real apple crisp, how to divide fractions and how to deal with everyday mistakes. But most of all I now know how to live with myself and be comfortable. I have pushed away alcohol for 15 months and I am ready to keep it away. I wouldn’t be able to keep this gratitude if it wasn’t for the family one girls and the friendships we have formed. Thank you for keeping me in high spirits, even through my mistakes and my downfalls. It’s amazing how much we laugh, I will remember you guys for a long time.
To the newcomer and everyone here today I leave you with a quote from The Alchemist:

“People need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want. We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it’s our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same Hand.”

G. P., Alumni, December 2009